Do we fail to tell people what they mean to us?

As I sit, thinking about my awesome cousin I love to think of the funny things he has done. The sweet young man that he has become and the example that he is. I pray for his recovery and I pray for my Aunt and Uncle who can't even hold Neil in their arms because he is too fragile, even a voice can spike the swelling in his brain. As I sit here I wonder, have I told the people I care about how much they truly mean to me? If so and so was in an accident tomorrow, would it be too late to tell them how much I love them?

At 16, I lost my 15 year old cousin in a tragic car accident. That was hard, really hard. I wrote a letter to Jordan after he passed away telling him how much I admired and appreciated him. He was so talented, he had so much going for him, his life was too short. It tore me apart that he may not have known how much he meant to me, we had grown apart in recent years and I missed him. It took a long time for me to get over the feelings that I never was able to express to him.

Almost 4 years ago, I lost my mom to a tragic brain tumor. I got to tell her goodbye and I was able to express to her my deepest feelings and how much she meant to me. But why did I wait so long to thank her for being the most amazing mother in the World? Why didn't I express this to her on a daily basis before she was sick?

Life is short, it is precious... I hope I can be better at telling the people I love what they mean to me.

Andy, have I thanked you for accepting me for me? For loving me whole heartedly inspite of the fact that I am not the best housekeeper? Thank you for keeping me grounded, for calming me when I feel out of control.

Hayden, you are such a special gift from Heavenly Father. You amaze me daily, you make me nuts but you are you. Don't ever change, I love you just the way you are and I look forward to every new day with you.

Brynley, you are the sweetest snuggler. I love that you just want to be with mommy all day. I love your little lisp, I could squeeze your cute bum a million times a day and never get tired of it. I love your sweet singing, you make me smile.

Zachar, Thank you for choosing me and for choosing our family. You have been a precious gift, I cannot imagine our family without you. I look forward to getting you out of bed every morning, I could hold you 24 hours a day and not get tired of it. Your smile melts my heart.

Grandma, have I told you that I think you are amazing? You are always so helpful, you have helped me over the years more than you will know. I am so lucky to have such a close relationship with you.

Aunt Shelly, have I told you that you are like a second mom to me? Have I thanked you for stepping into that role? Do you know how lucky my kids are to have you and without you, it would have been so much harder to not have my mom...

Dad, have I adequately thanked you for the sacrifices you made during my childhood? You worked countless hours at two jobs trying to make ends meat so that we could have a good childhood. Thank you, it did not go unnoticed...

Meredith, have I told you that I love you and I am so thankful to have you as my best friend? I so admire your creativity and your ability to do fun things with your kids, I wish I had that.

Meghan, do you know how I am in awe of the fact that you are having your 3rd child, with your oldest being barely 3? I could never do that, I don't have it in me. It takes a special person to be able to handle so many little kids.

Uncle Joe, thank you for accepting us and letting us overtake your house when we come to visit and for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for giving Aunt Shelly to us on so many occasions.

Henry and Sharon, have I told you that I love being a member of your family? Thank you for accepting me with open arms and letting me be a part of your lives. Sharon thank you for all of the beautiful gifts over the years.

Aunt Lori, have I told you how I am amazed that you can get up early and teach Seminary every morning? Have I thanked you for letting Andy and I stay with you last year? Thank you for being who you are and for being an example to me of a great mother.

Uncle Scott, thank you for picking us up in New York last year, it meant the world to us that you would do that and I am not sure that I actually ever sent a thank you card. I love hanging out with you, you're one cool guy.

There are many others, I could go on forever so don't feel offended if you are not included here, just know that I love you all.

(Sorry that the post has no spaces between paragraphs, it has them in my draft but takes them out when I publish it, not sure why...)