Today she would have been 53...

Today, November 26th, my mom would have been 53 years old. Even now, I would have still thought of her as a very young grandma with her 9th grandchild on the way. At the time of her passing, just 3 1/2 years ago, she only had 3, my how things have changed. I think of my mom often, I wonder what she would think of my kids. I feel sad for them; they are missing out the most, I got to spend 26 years with her, I'm the lucky one. I wonder what advice she would give me if I could call her in the middle of the afternoon, crying, wondering how on earth I could handle my kids another minute. I think of how proud she would be of their many accomplishments and I can picture her smiling, soaking in every bit of their childhood.

I love this picture of my mom holding Hayden at the hospital

Here she is helping me give Hayden his first bath, I don't know what I would have done without her!

My mom was by many accounts an amazing woman, she had her faults, we all do right? I have come to realize how true it is that we often don't know what we have until it is lost.... As a small tribute, I am going to post 53 things I love/remember about my mom...

1. She was a friend to everyone 2. She gave all that she had 3. Her love of giving service was unquestionable 4. Tender 5. Generous 6. Devoted to her family 7. Couldn't get enough of her grand kids 8. A true friend 9. Had a great laugh 10. To her, everything was fabulous 11. Creative 12. Cute, spunky handwriting 13. A great doodler 14. Taught me about sacrifice 15. Would give anything for her children 16. Dependable 17. You could always count on her 18. A great hostess 19. Could plan a meal for the masses and always have the perfect amount of food 20. She had an amazing memory, she knew every one's phone number 21. An information magnet 22. A great cook 23. She never said no 24. A perfect house was not always a spotless house 25. Generous 26. A second mom to all of my friends 27. She wanted everyone to just call her Sue - no formalities for her 28. Loved purple 29. Devoted 30. Loved to watch TV (That's not a bad thing) 31. She loved a good LDS Romance Novel 32. I don't think she was afraid of a single bug 33. Always a teenager at heart 34. A good sport 35. A hard worker 36. She loved serving the Lord 37. Loved Orange Juice and toast in the morning 38. We both had a love for sappy Sunday night movies 39. Her home was open to anyone 40. A go-to kind of gal 41. Not a great driver 42. Treated my husband like a prince 43. Accepted my faults 44. Put up with me when I wasn't the easiest to put up with 45. Determined 46. An inspiration 47. Humble 48. Great lips 49. Beautiful eyes 50. Inspiring 51. Easy to talk to, A good listener 52. Enthusiastic about the smallest of things 53. The most generous, caring human being I have ever known...

My Mom, Dad, and Meghan

Andy's Graduation from Grad School

I love this picture of my mom, I think she looks gorgeous! And look at my cute Grandma!

With Caroline, shortly after my mom's surgery, she looks amazing!

One of the last really happy memories I have of my mom was when this picture was taken. This is my mom holding Hayden at Disneyland. My mom loved Disneyland! About 6 months before she passed away, she was able to come to California to see the taping of Wheel of Fortune that I was on. Because she was in a wheel chair, she couldn't sit up in the audience where all of the other families sat, she sat down on the floor near the cameramen. Technically, families were not allowed to be in eye shot of the contestants, but I could see my mom because of where she had to sit. I remember how excited she was to be there. Even in her less than glamorous circumstances at the time, she kept a huge smile on her face through the entire taping. After I had won the beginning part of the show, I walked over to where I needed to be for the final round. Pat and Vanna were having a 60 second break and my contestant coordinator said, you can run and see your mom if you want. I ran over to her and she was elated, and crying, I had not seen her so full of emotion in quite sometime. I was able to give her a quick hug as she muttered good luck, as best as she could with her limited speech. After I won the show we celebrated with a nice dinner and spent the next two days at Disneyland.

I am so thankful to the people at Wheel of Fortune who made that possible for us. I was supposed to have been on the show a month earlier but because of my mom's treatments, she would not have been able to come and we would have missed out on that special experience together.

Do I miss her? Of course I do. Do I know that I will see her again someday? Yes. Do my kids ask questions about their Grandma Sue? Often. Do I love answering them? Absolutely, every one. Do I look forward to the day when we are reunited? Yes, but hopefully it won't be too soon, I still have a lot of work to do here on my end! I am thankful for the knowledge that I have, and though it makes me a little mad that my mom had to suffer the way she did, I know that Heavenly Father had a definite plan for her. I am a better person for having her as a mom and for seeing the strength with which she carried on when her body was making it very hard for her. I loved her very much, I just wish I had known years ago what an amazing gift I had in being able to call her my mom.